Valentine’s Day in Japan Is Backwards

In America, Valentine’s Day works like this:

Guy buys flowers. Guy buys dinner. Guy buys chocolate. Guy buys jewelry. Guy goes broke.

Okay, I’m being a little dramatic here…

But in Japan, Valentine’s Day works like this:

The girls buy the chocolate. The girls give the gifts. The girl goes broke…

I like Japan’s way.

February 14 in Japan is a day where women give chocolate to men. Boyfriends, husbands, crushes, bosses, coworkers, the guy who fixes their bike, everyone gets chocolate. There’s even a name for it when it’s not romantic: giri choco (義理チョコ), or “obligation chocolate.” The romantic stuff is honmei choco (本命チョコ) — “true feeling” chocolate.

Guys do nothing. We just sit back and receive.

But we’re not off the hook unfortunately. One month later on March 14 there’s a day called White Day.

This is when Japanese men return the favor, and the unwritten rule is sanbai-gaeshi (三倍返し), or “three times the return.” She gave you a $10 chocolate? You owe her a $30 gift. White chocolate, marshmallows, jewelry, a nice dinner, whatever.

The whole thing was invented in 1978 by a Japanese marshmallow company that realized men needed an excuse to spend money one month later. Genius marketing. Now it’s a national holiday.

So if you’re a foreign guy visiting Japan in February, congratulations, you’ve stumbled into the only Valentine’s Day on earth where you don’t open your wallet.

I make sure I’m in Japan on February 14th and gone by March 14th.

You’ll walk into convenience stores stacked floor to ceiling with chocolate. Department stores have entire floors converted into chocolate showrooms. Office ladies will hand you small wrapped boxes. It feels illegal. It is not illegal.

The catch comes 30 days later when you owe everyone triple.

But come on, I’m already home by then…

Since we bought our akiya in Japan, me and my wife have a hard rule that must always be followed: we celebrate by the country we’re in. If we’re in Japan, we follow Japanese rules.

It’s how we integrate with the culture. Imagine how upset my neighbors would be if they found out I was buying chocolate for my wife on Valetine’s day.

They might shun me… It could become a national headline…

So we celebrate it the proper way.

And it just so happens February 14th lands right in the middle of Japow season.

So you know where I’ll be every year. And you know what my wife will be doing.

Hey, I don’t make the rules.

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This content is for informational and educational purposes only and reflects my personal opinions and experience. I am not a licensed financial advisor, tax advisor, or attorney. Readers should conduct their own due diligence and consult qualified professionals before making any investment decisions.

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